Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Here I will answer the most frequently asked questions. However, since I haven’t been asked any questions, I’ll make some up and answer them the best that I can!

What questions do people ask you?

As I stated above, no one has asked me any questions yet, so I’m unsure of the questions they have asked!

Do you have a ‘no-questions-asked’ policy?

Currently, yes! This is only due to no questions having been asked. I don’t count these questions I’m asking here, since its padding and fluff to help this section look better than it actually is.

Do you have customer service?

If there was demand for it, then it could happen. As of right now, the answer is no. No demand, so no supply! Although I imagine a customer service interaction could go a little something like this:

Customer: Hi, my lamp broke during shipping. Will you replace it?
Me: Hello! It sucks that your lamp broke and I genuinely feel sorry for that. I wouldn’t like it if my lamp arrived all broken to pieces either. I cannot replace your lamp. I don’t know where you purchased your lamp, however I can guess 100% that it wasn’t from me. I don’t even sell lamps!
Customer: Haven’t you ever heard of ‘the customer is always right’? I want a replacement for my lamp or a full refund!
Me: I can’t give you a refund. Like I said, I don’t even sell lamps! Maybe that whole ‘the customer is always right thing’ applies, however, you are not my customer! Hey, how did you even get this phone number anyways?
Customer: Is this 333-666-9999?
Me: Are you joking? of course this isn’t! What the heck kind of phone number is that?
Customer: -Hangs up-